Last week Scotty and I went to NBC in San Jose to do a taping for the show, Bay Area Vista. It'll air in Nov. The host, Janice Edwards, was just so nice! I loved meeting her. We couldn't have felt more comfortable there. On the car ride down I joked with Scotty that it was Pay Back time for him. But he remained very kind : )
On our way to the south bay we reminisced about the limbo days. We talked about what helped (communication) and what didn't (questioning friends and family).
There were a gazillion tips I thought I'd share on the show about how to get through it, but most of them didn't make it out of my mouth. The talking points go right out the window.
I've been getting more and more emails lately from readers asking what helped us get past the pre-engagement daze. For me, it was knowing how he felt about this next phase in our relationship. We both wanted to get engaged, but at different times. We were on different time zones, and needed to manage that. And when I wanted to know what was stopping the pop, I'd ask him (and actually everyone else who would share an opinion). But asking him to share his thoughts, and me sharing mine, definitely helped. We let each other know which page we were on.
Talking about how we each felt about the transition, and being okay with each other's differences was key. Guys and women can feel very differently about tying the knot. Guys can see it as an end to part of who they are. And most women see it as a beginning. Understanding that really helped.
As they always say, Communication is the most important ingredient for a happy marriage.
